Honesty, Honestly.

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Honesty. That’s all I want.

An honest start, an honest end.

Harsh and raw, cutting, and blunt.

Honest question, honest answer.

No meandering. No excuses.

Honest word, honest phrase.

Criticism, word or praise.

I need an answer, not a compliment,

 

How can I grow on the base of lies?

How can I improve with a foundation incised?

I need someone to hurt my feelings—

Disregard emotion, constantly reeling

Cease to be fragile, impend me with revision.

I need honesty, honestly—

 

 

 

 

I dug up this poem from a journal entry from last October. It has renewed meaning right now, and I feel like it perfectly expresses what I want and need. I guess I’ve been trusting people too easily here. It would just be so much simpler if people would be brave enough to tell the truth and not hide behind masks.

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Ripples in Consciousness

 

Consciousness.

Be conscious of your actions.

Be aware of the results of your actions.

What did you trigger?

 

What energy do you exude?

Darkness or light?

What does light mean? Illuminescence? Not.

 

Awareness.

Are you aware?

Be aware of your self.

Beware of yourself.

 

Are you your self?

Or is your self you?

Who has control?

Consciousness? or the Self?

 

Selfless/Selfish

Selfish is of the self.

Selfless is divided from oneself.

How do you define the divide?

Do you?

 

Ripples– be conscious of the ripples. Beware of the ripples.

Ripples become waves.

Waves become tsunamis.

 

 

 

I was inspired to write this shortly after the central lecture in class today. Consciousness and the self– a discussion of being aware. And today the lecture seemed acutely relevant to some personal things in my life, so I wanted to express the abstract of it in a poem.

 

 

I did not take this photo– I found it via Woof Whinny Whisper’s blog at typepad.com.

http://trinitygsd.typepad.com/.a/6a00e5529a44b9883401156f120457970c-800wi

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Like A Cimex

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So much angst.

Tension. Pain. Anger. Frustration.

Too many demons in the room.

Searing, fleeting, recurring nightmares.

 

Suspicions become real.

I become vulnerable.

Emotion is SO raw.

Like letting blood, I let it all out–

The darkness seeps out, hopefully for good.

Burn the bridge.

Bury the ashes.

 

Find a safe haven, somewhere untouched

By the demons who chase the innocent

Disguised in candy-coated charm.

 

Like a Cimex, you draw blood.

Suck out light and drain all you touch.

Like a Cimex, you steal sleep.

You fill the room with your demon army.

 

Depression– the most towering wall to climb over.

So many steps, some are fake,

Slipping, slipping, slipping, back down you go.

You medicate to numb your demons.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*This is a poem to help me detoxify. Take it like vinegar or with a grain of salt, but it is an expression of feelings to be let go of in search of a lighter place.

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Baking bread– trying to make Oz home.

 

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Okay, so Australia is beautiful. So beautiful. Especially in the Northern Rivers region where I’m at. I was hoping to go up to Coolangatta this weekend… but plans didn’t end up working out. I have three friends who are from there, so it will have to work out eventually. One of my roommates is from there and I think her mom has a house there… and then another friend is from there but I don’t know if there is anywhere I could stay through him– and then there is a friend in my printmaking class who has a beach house within walking distance of Kirra Beach, somewhere I’ve always wanted to go. I will take her up on her offer to stay in the spare bedroom of her beach house very soon… it’s so tempting. I would have tried to do that this weekend, but she said she will be gone until September. Otherwise, it would have been a done deal. But yeah, traveling is proving a bit difficult. I miss having a car and being able to zip through the canyon at the drop of a hat at midnight if I wanted to. Here, everything takes planning in advance and more money than it would cost in petrol. Taxis, buses, trains, everything has to be planned.

I am enjoying the energy and the life force of being here in Australia– everything is so charged with hype. People are casual and friendly from what I’ve experienced. But there are definitely things that keep me from feeling settled down. I’ve got friends in Perth that I might visit before I head back to the states if I can afford the flight.

I guess a few things that make it feel foreign are: how the burgers are pre-seasoned… it’s a strange flavor. I kind of like the freedom of seasoning the meat myself or not at all. Also, the grocery store here isn’t very baker-friendly. Their biggest bag of flour is maybe 5 lbs… or 2 kilos. Not much in the way of flour when you love making bread. I know that baking is probably more predominantly a Utah thing or bored midwestern housewife thing according to different world regions, but I love baking. I guess I get easily bored, but I am passionate about baking. Good food is an important part of being healthy. Being healthy shouldn’t be thought of as an iceberg lettuce salad with non-fat dressing and a protein bar. I think that good homemade bread and sauces and brownies for dessert are a healthy thing every once in a while. Yeah, it’s all carbs, but carbs are important too. And brownies and bread make people happy 🙂

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Lismore River Walk– a printmaking adventure

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Okay, there is a reason for the repeated photo of this dirty plant. Today for print making class, we were told to meet up at a park by the river downtown, so I hitched a ride to meet my classmates there. Our professor suggested wandering down the bamboo trail for our project to get some ideas. We were to be taking photos and doing drawings. I found myself taking a bajillion pictures of the bamboo, but then I kept getting drawn to plants like this one with large, long linear leaves that were vibrantly green. I found this giant plant along the river bank. The radial outreaching pattern automatically made me want to take a few photos of it. There is mud caked in the leaves, filling the cracks. I think this is the most inspiring photo I took today. The reason for the mud deposits in the leaves is because the river floods so high that mud just gets on all of the flora down by the river, up to about 20 meters or so, I heard. This plant was about 5 meters above the water. When I got home, I was messing with the photos and decided to make copies of this one to play with. I went all crazy with trying extreme tinting. I put this to the maximum level of warmth on my picture editor about three and a half times to get this scarlet color. I also messed with the saturation and put the tint towards purple just a bit. Oh, and I bumped up the contrast to dramaticize the cracks in the dried mud.

 

For this second photo, I just wanted to see how the plant would look in black and white but with just the slightest hint of color left and I gave it a bit of warmth as well.

warm black and white

 

 

 

For this last photo, I wanted to go opposite from the red so I put the temperature to cool 3 and a half times and tinted it more towards green. Oh, and I decreased the contrast slightly and dimmed the brightness. I just wanted to explore the different possibilities generated by this seemingly simple photo of a riverbank “weed”. It’s amazing the lines and textures and patterns that nature has hidden within the most unexpected of places. Who knew I would find this gem on a muddy riverbank? 🙂

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Motivation, Innovation, Creation! Printing on Clay

first lino clay print

 

I had a genius idea in the studio the other day. Why not try printing one of my lino blocks– but instead of using ink and paper, why not use underglaze and clay? So I did. And the photo above shows how it went. I haven’t fired them yet, but these mugs will be epic 🙂 I guess my friends probably saw it coming as soon as they knew I was taking a print making class here in Australia. I have other friends who use printing techniques on clay, but I’ve never heard of using a lino block directly on clay with underglaze. I did an embossed cup as well, similar to a blind embossing when testing how a lino block prints using a medium pressure setting on an Enjay press. I didn’t put a handle on that cup because it seemed a little too narrow for a mug. Anyway, I plan on just using a clear glaze over top of the underglaze as is custom. The firing temperature is up in the air at this point… I was told today that I am restricted to cone 6, which means I will have to reformulate glaze recipes before mixing. I’m not too happy about the idea of firing at cone 6. It seems like such an illogical temperature. Ceramic art isn’t eco-friendly– that’s just how it is. By skimping a few degrees, it just hurts the possibilities you could achieve at a higher temperature, and I doubt it makes too much of a difference for the ozone layer… yes, it does cost a bit more to reach that temperature, but it’s definitely worth it in the long run. The best comparison I can think of at the moment is when people buy skim milk instead of whole milk. If it’s a taste thing, fine. But if it’s because you think it’s healthier to cut out some of the milk’s natural fat and that you will lose a few pounds because you drink skim milk, that’s ridiculous. Whole milk tastes so much better, and if it’s whole, it’s closer to how it naturally occurs, which means it should be better for you, right? At least it tastes better and if you are drinking enough milk to gain weight from it, that’s just weird. So that’s my point. The fat, the temperature, sometimes you need to go all the way with things for them to be at their fullest potential. So I like to fire at cone 10 in a gas kiln with a satin matte glaze that I formulated myself– the crystal growth is so beautiful. Subtle, small crystals coating the surface like when the window of a car is lightly frosted, just past the freezing point by a few degrees. A beautifully smooth but buttery satin surface. The temperature and the density of the clay makes all the difference. I will figure out how to make my work decent and appealing here, but I can’t wait to be able to fire at cone 10 in a gas kiln again. On my own. I miss firing. I am going through a withdrawal.

 

 

Ok, so this was another studio experiment that same day. Before I went to the ceramic studio, I decided to print a few things. I mixed up a coral colored ink to do the second layer on a blood red print of my wood grain texture block (the same block as on the mugs above) and the different colors I used to make the color were still visibly separate in some areas, so it gave me an idea. I got a paint brush, a dab of linseed oil, and thinned out the individual colors– then proceeded to paint them individually on different areas of the block. My professor told me about a Japanese technique of printmaking where different colors were applied to the same block with a brush prior to printing it. He said that it was too advanced and didn’t expect me to go that far. I wanted to try the idea. I don’t think it’s the same thing he was talking about, but I still got decent results and I think it could have potential. I’m not bragging about my work. I am just excited about the idea of being able to apply different colors like a painting but it doesn’t take nearly as long to do. And ink dries faster than oil paint, in my opinion so far. But yeah, more photos to come!

bird2

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Trying new things– inspired by my surroundings :)

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These mugs are just a couple of experiments with slab building and brushwork. One day in class, my professor wanted me to show my classmates how I throw out a slab. She handed me a chunk of porcelain and we both started wedging, then each of us did a different technique to throw out a slab. I was able to get a slab almost 3 feet in diameter that was about 3/16″ thick. It was pretty good, even for me. The clay was really well-behaved. My professor just kept saying “Thinner, thinner!” so I kept throwing it until it started to wrinkle and I ran out of table space (the table was only 3 feet across). After that, she ripped both of our slabs into strips and put them in a press mold, took them out, and started throwing them at a wire to try and make them catch and drape– kind of like throwing a pair of tennis shoes over a telephone wire. It was pretty funny. She got the whole bunch of us laughing. While she was pressing pieces into the mold, I was messing around with another strip of the clay and I made one of my female figures really quick and rough. My classmates were impressed. Then someone randomly said “How would you make a bowl with it?” and I took up the challenge in the silliest approach I could think of. I grabbed a strip of clay, wrapped it in a circle, and pinched the bottom three or 4 times to take it in, like sewing. The base was narrow and it kind of looked like a bowl of sorts. Then to be even sillier and finish the job, I tore a small circle and put the bowl shape on top of it– giving it a base. A little while later after the professor demoed throwing a thin long slab to make a dog tongue, I used the same technique to make a handle and sloppily attached it to the bowl, making a large teacup.

How does that story relate? You ask… well the sloppy bowl form got me to thinking. Why not take the idea more seriously and go with it– and make a few mugs? So these mugs are an example of a soft slab technique where I work more casually and welcome the clay to look like cloth or leather in the way the creases flow. On the back side of the shorter mug, there is a pinched fold like I was talking about. I’ve made more since, so I will have more new photos and you can eventually see what I’m talking about. I painted grevillea flowers on these mugs– I went outside and picked one of the flowers halfway through decorating, which made me think to add the yellow to the tips of the flower. Grevillea flowers really are beautiful things. If you’ve never seen one in person, you should try to some day.

 

This last photo is just to show how busy my week in the studio has been. I’ve been taking these through the processes of assembling and decorating all week. Things don’t dry out as quickly as I’m used to here, so it slows down my process a bit. Just today, I trimmed 9 mugs, pulled 9 handles, put the handles on, cleaned them up, decorated 5 figure cups, and three other cups that needed decorating. Oh, plus I painted more grevillea flowers on two new soft slab mugs. So I have gotten a bunch done in the 5 hours I was in the studio today. Plus a bit of reclaiming clay work… and periodic cleaning… so it was a productive day 🙂

 

 

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A beach day at Byron Bay

frangipani sand sculpture

 

 

I finally got to take a day trip to Byron and spend a bit of time on the beach this weekend. The weather wasn’t exactly sunbathing weather, but I found ways to entertain myself. I made this frangipani flower sculpture while waiting for the clouds to move so the sun would come back. It was a bit chilly. I ended up wearing my jacket the whole time. We did go to a few shops, and stopped by a classy beach pub after we left the beach. The clouds were breath taking, and when they did let sun through, the sunbeams were dramatic. Hopefully there will be more Byron beach trips in the future when the weather warms up.

Next weekend, I will be heading up the coast with my musician friends to celebrate a birthday. It should be a good time, kicking off with a concert!

 

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Printing is in my Blood! :)

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So… my name is Kira, and I’m a print-aholic. I’ve been sober for 3 hours and 18 minutes (that’s when my print making class ended and I walked home). I’m hooked on print making! It’s so addictive. At least, the lino block process seems to be very soothing and rewarding. I haven’t dived into making my reduction block yet… but I plan to as soon as I get the fresh lino block. They are out of it at the art shop this week. I do have a design for it though. I plan on using an image I drew of a wasp. Anyway, the print above is one from my newest small lino bl0ck (15 x 15 cm). I mixed up a bright happy orange colored ink and printed on torn Magnani paper with 1cm margins. It’s supposed to convey the idea of an aloe vera plant… while mimicking the texture of my sprayed water color drawings in the background.

So with all of this printmaking excitement, it led me to remember my printing lineage. I do have a history of printing in my family– not printmaking or anything so artistic, but my family ran a commercial printing press for years. My grandpa printed a newspaper for the valley when I was really little, and people would come in and order different things to be printed like banners and flyers. All I remember from those early days when my grandpa was still printing is that I could go in the back and take any kind of paper I wanted to– there was lots of neon colored paper that was great for origami, and when I got a little bit older I appreciated being able to have a few pieces of nice textured heavyweight paper. I would just sit at a table and make things out of the paper while the employees were working. Those were good times 🙂 I remember that my grandpa stopped printing somewhere along the way and my uncle took over all of the press work while my dad ran the business. I was still young enough to hang around in back and they let me have paper every once in a while, but I had a better concept about not being greedy about it. In recent years, my dad sold the business to our rivals and my uncle still prints for them and my aunt works as a graphic designer there. The name stayed the same (PrintStar), but things are different. A couple of years ago, I was buying sheets of vellum paper from them for drawing and painting, but lately the only thing I’ve been there for was to have my aunt make me some business cards.

 

 

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Here’s a challenge: can you guess how I colored this paper?????

 

Ha. Knew you wouldn’t get it right. It’s definitely not my own blood. I’m not that hardcore. It’s stained with strong red wine– cabernet merlot, to be specific. I wanted to try something different. I was actually in the process of staining paper with tea one night in my room while enjoying a glass of red wine, and decided I didn’t want quite that much wine so I was about to pour it back in the bottle when I had an idea– it would be a mess to pour it back in the bottle, so why not pour it over the paper I was staining with tea? Just for kicks? So I let a little bit spill on the paper. When it was dry the next morning, I had an earth-toned tie-dyed piece of paper. Another night, I decided to sacrifice a generous glass of wine to the process and poured it in a spray bottle. I sprayed about 2 or 3 layers on the paper for the print above. It makes a beautiful natural visual texture. The puddles make variations that you can’t get any other way.

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Lismore’s natural spectrum– it’s got me inspired!

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Just waltzing along. It was another beautiful day here in Lismore, Australia. Bright, sunny, and even the few raindrops that happened to fall were gleaming with reflected sunshine. This little shroom on a log is just another lovely scene ordinary to the campus here. I doubt most passers by even notice this log, but I admire it every time I walk by. It’s a beautiful fallen tree just blooming with these vibrant orange fungi. The color seems radioactive. It’s amazing the palette that nature chooses to play with here. Everything is bursting with color and life. Even the weeds and pesky flowerbed fungi come in bright colors. Long spindly vines with magenta miniature melons striped with golden yellow, bright red reeking stinkhorn octopus fungi drawing out their tentacles, and bright pink berries on the trees on campus. The rainbow of natural color here is completely awesome. It makes great inspiration for my colorful work. I just decided to take my camera with me to campus a couple of days ago and took photos of this log. I should have done it a long time ago.

 

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