Photo: Green Tree Shrooms… a doodle that I drew on Sunday (2/17/13). Sprayed watercolors, ink, and colored pencils.

Sometimes it’s hard to be an artist. Nights like these just make it more noticeable… when the creativity doesn’t quench the thirst of loneliness. It’s cold outside, and there is a certain lack of night life in this small town– narrowing my options for activities. I guess it’s the price to be paid for being creative, ADD, and insecure. Here’s a poem… of sorts.

Stand up. Stand alone.

The world and it’s people will never see

What their messages do to me.

I’ll hold my own, entertain myself.

It’s about expression, not show and tell.

Stand up. Stand alone.

Either way, I’m on my own.

I may as well take it all in,

Be inspired, let the self-doubt begin.

Passion for passion, heart for heart.

Vision for vision, art for art.

Tortured or lost, or maybe just shy…

Can’t quite describe it, this feeling inside.

Unsure but passionate,

Insecure mind.

Pushing forward, holding back,

Making time but losing track…

Keep feelings in a bottle and words in a bag,

Keep sharing, keep showing, give it my all–

Express instead with creation alone–

Misunderstood by society’s drones.

Stand up. Stand alone.

If you’re an artist, you’re on your own.

Spill out your heart, express what you’ve found–

Throw yourself to the ether, leave the ground.

I feel like I am constantly throwing my ideas at people until they are overwhelmed. As an aspiring artist, I feel like I have a responsibility– when I find something beautiful, unique, breath-taking, deep or sorrowful that inspires me to create, I must share what I find. Art is my way of communication. I am awkward with words. I can more easily express an idea by creating an image that captures my thoughts and emotions than I can string a sentence together. It’s just what I do.